July 26, 2017: FIND OUT WHY YOUR BEST AGE, IS NOW!

Who says it’s downhill after 40?  We talk to New York psychotherapist Dr. Robi Ludwig about her book Your Best Age is Now, where she shares how midlife doesn’t mean the glass is half-empty, but overflowing with tremendous growth.

TRANSCRIPT

> WELL, IT'S TIME FOR THE FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH TO GET A MAKEOVER.

ALLOW ME TO EXPLAIN.

WHEN YOU HEAR THE WORDS MIDDLE AGE, YOU MY THINK OF OLD, OVER THE HILL OR MIDLIFE CRISIS.

THE REALITY IS WOMEN IN THEIR 40s, 50s, 60s ARE LIVING FULL, ENGAGED LIVES BECAUSE OF THEIR RENEWED PERCEPTION OF THE FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH SHOWING THEM THE GLASS IS NOT EMPTY.

A NEW BOOK IS SHOWING WOMEN HOW TO LIVE THE LIVES THEY HAVE DREAMED OF.

WELCOME.

THANK YOU.

THANKS FOR HAVING ME.

YOU KNOW THIS IS DANGEROUS TERRITORY FOR MAN TO VENTURE INTO.

TALK ABOUT HOW A WOMAN PER RECEIVES HER OWN AGE.

RIGHT.

LET ME TIPTOE INTO THERE AREA.

ARE WOMEN SENSITIVE ABOUT BEING 40, 50 OR 60 TO THE EXTENT THEY USED TO BE?

I DEFINITELY NOTICE THAT IT'S KIND OF A TWO WAYS TO LOOK AT IT.

MAY MAY FEEL REALLY GREAT ABOUT THEMSELVES.

THEY FEEL YOUNG.

THEY FEEL YOUNGER LONGER.

THERE'S A CONCERN ABOUT HOW OTHER PEOPLE WILL PERCEIVE THEM.

IN PART BECAUSE CULTURALLY WE REALLY HAVE BEEN BRAINWASHED TO BELIEVE THAT ONCE WOMEN HIT A CERTAIN AGE, THEY ARE TO BE IGNORED OR NOT AS VALUABLE AS THEY ONCE WERE.

WOMEN ARE STRUGGLING WITH THE TWO IMAGES.

IT'S WHAT THEY FEEL INSIDE AND THE DISCONNECT OF WHAT OTHERS FEEL ABOUT THEM?

RIGHT.

IT'S ALMOST LIKE IN THEIR OWN BODY, IN SOME CASES THEY FEEL THEY HAVE LOOKED BETTER THAN EVER BEFORE.

THEY ARE MORE FIT.

THEY ARE MORE SELF-CONFIDENT, MORE COMFORTABLE IN THEIR OWN SKIN BUT THERE MAY BE A CONCERN ABOUT WHAT THEIR AGE MEANS TO SOMEONE ELSE.

EITHER IN THE DATING WORLD OR THE WORK WORLD.

THERE'S STILL A FEAR THAT IT WILL CREATE SOME PREJUDICE.

IN SOME CASES THAT'S TRUE.

IT'S NOT WITHOUT SOME DEGREE OF TRUTH BECAUSE WE TEND TO BE AN AGEIST SOCIETY.

RIGHT.

PART OF THE REASON I WANTED TO WRITE THIS BOOK IS I LOOKED AROUND NEW YORK CITY AND I SAW ALL THESE AMAZING, BEAUTIFUL, SUCCESSFUL, BRILLIANT WOMEN AROUND ME WHO WERE IN MID LIFE.

IDEA OF MIDLIFE WAS.DOWDY.

I INTERNALIZED IT AND I WOULD INTERVIEW FOR JOBS AND PEOPLE WOULD ASK HOW OLD WAS I.

WHICH THEY'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO ASK YOU.

WHAT YEAR DID YOU GO TO SCHOOL.

IT WAS MORE DIRECT.

HOW OLD ARE YOU.

I DON'T MIND SHARING MY AGE BUT IS IT GIVE TO HAVE A NEGATIVE IMPACT.

ARE THEY GOING TO ELIMINATE ME TALKING TO A YOUNGER AUDIENCE.

I DIDN'T WANT TO FEEL THERE WEREN'T POSSIBILITIES OUT THERE FOR ME.

I LOOKED AT ALL THE BOOKS ON MID LIFE.

IT WAS ALL ABOUT LOSS.

HOW TO HANDLE NOT BEING NOTICED.

WHO WANTS THAT?

HOW TO HANDLE NOT REMEMBERING.

HOW TO HANDLE YOUR BODY NOT BEING IN GOOD SHAPE.

I WAS LIKE THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG HERE.

I LOOKED AT THE SCIENCE.

THE NEW SCIENCE IS SHOWING SOMETHING DIFFERENT.

WHAT IS IT SHOWING?

OUR BRAINS ARE REALLY DOING VERY WELL IN MID LIFE.

WE'RE NOT FORGETTING.

WE CONTINUE TO MAKE NEW NEURONS, ESPECIALLY IF WE EAT RIGHT.

OUR PERSONALITIES CAN CHANGE ALL THE WAY INTO OUR 60s.

WE'RE NOT DONE.

WE'RE ACTUALLY NOT.

WE'RE MORE ARTISTICALLY INTUITIVE AT THIS TIME.

WE KNOW OURSELVES.

SINCE WE'RE LIVING LONGER, WE WANT TO FEEL AND LIVE YOUNGER.

IT'S HORRIBLE TO GO THROUGH HALF OF YOUR LIFE OR MORE THINKING YOU'RE NOT WHAT YOU WERE AND THAT NOBODY REALLY CARES ANYMORE.

EXACTLY.

WHAT DOES THAT DO TO YOUR PSYCHE?

WHAT DO YOU DO ABOUT THERE?

ANY RECOMMENDATION IS THERE WERE A LOT OF SIMILARLITIES BETWEEN ADOLESCENTS AND MIDLIFE.

SHE WROTE IT WHEN SHE WAS AT 35 YEARS OLD.

THINK ABOUT IT.

I CAN CLEARLY REMEMBER IT.

SCIENCE IS REALLY GAME CHANGER IN TERMS OF CREATING THIS NEW SPACE IN LIFE WHERE USED TO BE AT MIDLIFE YOU'D LOOK AT RETIREMENT.

NOW WE'RE LIVING SO MUCH LONGER THAT WE'RE NOT RETIRING IN SOME CASES.

WE REALLY NEED TO LOOK AT THE OPTIONS.

I SAID OKAY.

THERE'S SIMILARLITIES IN HORMONE CHANGES.

THERE'S SIMILARITIES IN BESIDE CHANGES.

THERE'S SIMILARITIES IN TERMS OF LOOKING INWARD.

WE'RE NOT AS HOPEFUL AS TEENS ARE.

TEENS ARE CREATIVE.

THEY ARE IN THE MOMENT.

THEY'RE IMMORTAL IN THEIR OWN MINDS.

THEY ARE LOOKING FORWARD TO THE FUTURE.

THAT'S SOMETHING WE LOSE A LITTLE BIT DURING MIDLIFE.

I WANTED TO REBOOT THAT EXCITEMENT.

ABOUT A MINUTE LEFT.

THE CORE FACTS THAT SOMEBODY, A WOMAN SHOULD KNOW ABOUT THIS AGE AND RETRIEING THAT SENSE OF ENTHUSIASM FOR WHAT'S TO COME?

GREAT QUESTION.

YOU NEED TO ASK YOUR YOUNGER SELF.

WHAT WOULD YOUR YOUNGER SELF TELL YOUR OLDER SELF.

WHAT WOULD YOUR YOUNGER SELF REMIND YOU ABOUT YOUR PASSIONS, WHAT'S IMPORTANT TO YOU, WHAT TO LOOK FORWARD TO.

WE NEED TO LEARN TO SAY YES TO OURSELVES MORE.

SET BOUNDARIES AND ALSO LOOK TO ROLE MODELS.

THESE ARE ALL THINGS THAT ADOLESCENTS DO.

THEY HAVE AN INNER MOXY OF I'M NOT GOING TO LET SOMEBODY ELSE DEFINE ME.

MIDLIFE WOMEN NEED TO GET BACK INTO THAT.

I'M GOING TO DO SOMETHING REALLY IMPORTANT.

I'M NOT GOING TO LET YOU TELL ME IT'S OVER FOR ME BECAUSE IT'S NOT.

THEMES MEN COULD LEARN FROM AS WELL.

ABSOLUTELY.

THE BOOK IS FASCINATING.

WISH YOU MUCH LOOK WITH IT.

THANK YOU.

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WE'LL SEE YOU AGAIN TOMORROW.

> FUNDING FOR THIS PROGRAM WAS PROVIDED BY.

Funders

MetroFocus is made possible by Sue and Edgar Wachenheim III, the Sylvia A. and Simon B. Poyta Programming Endowment to Fight Anti-Semitism, Bernard and Denise Schwartz, Barbara Hope Zuckerberg, Janet Prindle Seidler, Jody and John Arnhold, the Cheryl and Philip Milstein Family, Judy and Josh Weston and the Dr. Robert C. and Tina Sohn Foundation.

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