posted 09-14-2000 11:07 PM         

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Originally posted by RITony:
I happened upon this program by accident and the overwhelming sense of agony it brought back is beyond words. My wife passed away at an inpaitent hospice center here in Rhode Island after a two year battle with NHL. It was two days after her 37th birthday. Two bone marrow transplants in Boston, countless radiation and drug therapies, etc... Absolutely kicking and screaming the whole way... I think our last two weeks in the hospice center were the best we had in those two years. Although my 6 and 8 year old kids barely remember their mom after only 3 and 1/2 months, even they remember the really nice people at that last hospital where mom stayed. My deepest admiration go out to the "angels on earth" who somehow have the ability to work in our local hospice program and those around the country. I know that my family was blessed with our hospice experience. I can only hope that television programs such as this can help raise public awareness of just how important hospice can be. Thanks for the powerful program.

We miss you betsy ....

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HI Tony,
I can feel your agony. I too lost someone where a hospice home took care of my mother in her final days. She suffered very little but suffered in silence for a few years. We all thought she was a hypochondriac and she would not go to a doctor. Finally when she came down with pneumonia, and was hospitalized they found cancer in her liver and pancreas. She refused a feeding tube and wanted just to be rid of the hospital. We found a hospice center and two weeks later she died. It's funny, I was the only one in the family who understood she was actually dying until the day she died.
Watching the death process was actually a beautiful thing. Not at the time, but hospice people gave me a little booklet to read about the death process. I was reading it that evening when we got the call that she had passed.
I tell you this because, after her death it took me months to bring closure to the agonizing pain. You need to be kind to yourself and let yourself grieve. I know it must be tough because you have little kids, but take the time to cry, hurt and find some support, in a church or a grief support group.
God Bless you.

posted 09-14-2000 11:10 PM         

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Originally posted by elizowen:
The finale of ON OUR OWN TERMS profiles crusading individuals who offer palliative care to the working poor and the uninsured. As you watched the program, what was your reaction?

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posted 09-24-2000 08:10 PM         

I think the system needs to be changed. There are too many limitations on home care. An aide can only visit three days a week. It is almost impossible to get anyone on the weekend. My stepfather was confined to bed for the last two months of his life. It was impossible to get a doctor to come to the house to see him. Finally, when a friend of a doctor who is a friend of my Mom's agreed to visit him, it was too late because he passed away before the appointment.

posted 10-07-2000 08:53 PM         

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Originally posted by sowens:
My Mother recently had a stroke that would have left her in a vegetative state. Since she had a living will she did not have a feeding tube etc. Only small doses of morphine for pain when she "seemed" uncomfortable. She lived for approximately 2 weeks. She literally starved to death. It was horrible to watch. When insurance would no longer cover her hospital stay we were told she would have to be moved back to the nursing home. She died the second day after being transported back to the nursing home. My question is this; If the idea is to make the patient more comfortable but not prolong the inevitable then why turn a patient every one to two hours to keep the fluids from building up in her lungs? Who determines what is exceptable and what is not? How humane is it to allow a person to starve to death...and could medication have been administered sooner at the hospital so she did not have to be moved back to the nursing home?

This has been very difficult on my Daddy (84 yrs old - 62 yrs of marriage). Could this have been dealt with differently .... other options? Daddy has trouble sleeping at nights, often waking up sobbing, for many obvious reasons but what about the not so obvious reason, such as "Is this what I have to look forward to?" Can I give him any kind of assurance?

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posted 10-07-2000 09:00 PM         

quote:

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Originally posted by sowens:
My Mother recently had a stroke that would have left her in a vegetative state. Since she had a living will she did not have a feeding tube etc. Only small doses of morphine for pain when she "seemed" uncomfortable. She lived for approximately 2 weeks. She literally starved to death. It was horrible to watch. When insurance would no longer cover her hospital stay we were told she would have to be moved back to the nursing home. She died the second day after being transported back to the nursing home. My question is this; If the idea is to make the patient more comfortable but not prolong the inevitable then why turn a patient every one to two hours to keep the fluids from building up in her lungs? Who determines what is exceptable and what is not? How humane is it to allow a person to starve to death...and could medication have been administered sooner at the hospital so she did not have to be moved back to the nursing home?

This has been very difficult on my Daddy (84 yrs old - 62 yrs of marriage). Could this have been dealt with differently .... other options? Daddy has trouble sleeping at nights, often waking up sobbing, for many obvious reasons but what about the not so obvious reason, such as "Is this what I have to look forward to?" Can I give him any kind of assurance?

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