posted 09-14-2000 12:24 AM         

In her last few years of life, she could do nothing for herself. On a good day, she would be able to string a few words together. Although she could not relay her thoughts in words, you could see it in her eyes...that she did not want to lay there anymore. She was tired of the struggle. As difficult as that was to watch, by our faith in God, we knew that he was the one in control of my grandmother's life and death.

I also witnessed the myriad of emotions, the stress, and the strain that my mother (her daughter) and my uncle went through in caring for my grandmother all these years. I think that is a very important point that this series addressed...the difficulties of the caregivers. Having strong, capable, emotionally stable caregivers is as important for the ill person as for the caregiver themselves. As people continue to live longer lives, the care of our mothers, fathers, brothers, and sisters in their later years and at their death is going to become a part of the way we live our daily lives. It must, however, also become a part of the way our public policy and health care system are structured. Families need support and options available to them to be able to provide quality care and quality of life to their loved ones. The patient and the family need not only to be ministered to physically by medical personnel but also spiritually and emotionally as Dr. Bailey at Cooper Green Hospital pointed out. To listen to the stories in this series and see the sacrifices that family members made to care for their loved ones was both uplifting and at the same time heart-wrenching in that the government, the health care system, and the private industry sector does not see this as a basic need or priority.

In the area where I live, we are fortunate to have some wonderful programs available to help families provide and improve the quality of life for their loved ones. Three years ago churches in this area started a non-profit adult day care for those with various forms of illnesses and dementia. This organization provides the much needed support for the caregivers as well as stimulation and socialization for the patients. There are many exceptional programs out there, and I urge everyone to investigate what their community has to offer.

It is imperative that society begins to think about these issues...especially care for our increasingly aging population in their illnesses and in their death. Stories such as these are going to become the norm and not the exception. I applaud Bill Moyers and PBS on their efforts in bringing these issues to light.

posted 09-14-2000 01:15 AM         

<< I was a hospice social worker for 3-4 years. I worked in 2 facilities in which people with terminal illness came to die (one was featured on this show). I just wanted to say that dying brings up so much emotion. It was said - but too softly for my taste -- that morphine does not cause death - although it can suppress respirations - but does so much to benefit and ease suffering. They also talked a lot about IV morphine drips --- in my experience - IV's were seldom used in hospice care.
Also --there was a good discussion about withholding nutrition and hydration but the doctor mentioned ---to fast --- that this help actually ends up harming and causing suffering in the end --- the doctor mentioned--it ends up in your lungs. Even in hospice I watched as well intentioned family tried to push fluids, soups, etc. only to have their family member aspirate and choke.
A good hospice worker helps inform people from their experience and helps to guide people toward the best way to serve the needs of the dying.

This show is wonderful and breaks the silence on an important topic. My only concern is that by showing hospice care juxtaposed with issues such as assisted suicide the average viewer might be confused about what hospice does to help ease the suffering of others.
Thank you for your courage in initiating this show. >>

posted 09-14-2000 04:28 AM         

quote:

---

Originally posted by mgqfbc:
As a Baptist minister I encouraged my congregation this morning to watch the beginning of the series tonight. I told them I had obviously not seen it, but that if Bill Moyers was doing it, it would be worth their time.

Absolutely right on target. As one who deals with death and dying every month, I applaud the series. It will serve well those who take its message to heart. Bill B. and his wife have been added to my list of heroes.

---

posted 09-15-2000 08:20 PM         

quote:

---

Originally posted by casero:
I was very moved by the first episode of this series. I was especially touched by the story of the pediatrician in Kansas City, Missouri who had been diagnosed with cancer of the esophagus. Very often I have wondered when will death strike my immediate family. So far we have been pretty fortunate. Apart from my grandmother and grandfather who died in the 1970's (I was too young to remember most of it) we have not experienced any major death in our family. Eventually someone in our family will have to face death and I for one plan to be there every step of the way. Our family is from Cuba (by the way I live close to the University of Miami-Jackson Memorial Medical Center presented in the program) and in our culture the family is a very strong unit. I do not want my parents or anyone else in my family to die in hospital surrrounded by strangers so no matter what the costs I will be there for my parents or anyone in my family when it comes time for them to leave this earth.

I think this is one of the best programs to explore this kind of problem in America today. I am familiar with Bill Moyers and I have always liked his narrative style. From what I can gather the suffering of dying stems from a fear of the unknown. Having family around in familiar surroundings I think is the best therapy for a terminally ill patient. The point should be made however, if modern medicine and procedures can offer the hope of a cure then that avenue should be explored. The danger is that some people may decide to not undergo potentially life saving-albeit aggresive-medical treatments simply because it might involve long stays at the hospital. If there is a resonable chance of a cure then the patient should be encouraged to undergo the treatment.

---

posted 09-23-2000 01:01 PM         

Peace to you all.

quote:

---

Originally posted by hypatia6:
The first segment was beautifully done and I am looking forward to the rest. Bill Moyers really knows how to do a documentary. I was especially moved by Bill (the patient, not Moyers) who said that he wanted to be the Chairman of the Board or CEO or something like that as his life was winding down. His friends meeting in the prairie after his death was especially poignant. My mother passed away in July of this year and I so wished that we had had the hospice option available to us. But her problems were problems that doctors could "fix," so they didn't give up until the morning of the day she finally died. When I left Mom 12 days before, I had a hint that perhaps this was it, but like I said, the doctors could fix it. It would have been great to have had that 12 days with her--my sisters were there, so she didn't face death alone, but I wish I could have been there too.

---

posted 08-11-2003 11:33 PM         

I was also very touched at the parallels of death and childbirth. As a labor support person, I attend women as they transition from a pregnant woman to a mother. They need human touch, they need comfort, they need compassion. Women who are attended and touched during childbirth ask for less pain medication and are more comfortable with the entire process. They are not frightened nor are they alone.

However, this attendance is suspect and discouraged by the doctor who wants to remain "in charge".

Again, we have lost our humanity in birth, as we have in death.

Watching this program, and viewing the incredible sensitivity shown towards vulnerable people (the dying) as well as the support given to their caregivers (who do an amazing job of traveling down an unknown road with a vulnerable person) gives me hope that eventually, our world will accept birth and death.

It is life, after all.