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Author
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Topic: Program 1: Living with Dying
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cabales
New Member Posts: 1
From:
Registered: Sep 2000
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posted 09-12-2000 11:53 PM
  
I can't express the grief I feel. My father died painfully, and in a manner that he would have detested. Two years earlier, I was humanely able to caress by dog, as the veterinarian provided the final injection. But I could not provide the same for my own father. THAT, my friends, is the ultimate crime. Thank you for rekindling my anger. Maybe I will channel it into a productive use that may benefit others. Or myself. |
Bill
New Member Posts: 1
From: Denver, Colorado USA
Registered: Sep 2000
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posted 09-13-2000 12:13 AM
One month ago my grandmother passed away after a year long battle with congestive heart failure. Her final days were spent under the wonderful care of the Boulder County Hospice of Colorado. This program, somtimes difficult to watch, has been a wonderful healing event for me. I hope others will be enlighted about the wonderful work that Hospice offers, the care not only to the dying, but to the family. I can't stress enough how caring and nurturing these special people are. |
Rainy
Member Posts: 2
From: Fresno, CA
Registered: Sep 2000
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posted 09-13-2000 03:19 AM
I wanted to thank you Ellen P for sharing about you and your Mom and her "little deaths". How wonderful for Sister Pat to share with you that your mom truly was fortunate as well as you. I look forward to having the mother I too also wanted. I had given up that ever happening, but now I know how to pray when the time comes to part with my parents, both in their 80's now. I watched this series tonight because I have been priveleged to be a paid Caregiver for many different patients with varied ailments. I have had so many people think that It would be depressing but for me it has been a real joy. I have watched many families trying to deal with their dying loved one and how thankful they are to have someone to take up the slack and give them a break.
What a wonderful and much needed message this series is relaying. quote:
Originally posted by EllenP:
Two and a half years ago my mother passed away at 89 years old, living at a retirement community. She was diagnosed with congestive heart failure and was told that she was too old and sick to save and that they would "make her as comfortable as possible" while she
waited to die. She was told the time she had left could be days, weeks, or months. She lived for 7 more months.
We’d had a rocky time together. She wasn't easy to be around, especially when I was a child. (I probably wasn’t, either.) Finally, at the age of forty-two, I gave up hoping she’d be the Mrs. Cleaver type of mother I’d always wanted, and cut the "umbilical cord" at the top of my lungs on Christmas Eve, while visiting her and my father. I didn't speak to her for a year and a half and then only ever spoke to her of superficial things. This sat very well with her. A couple of years after we were on speaking terms again I got a letter from her saying how glad she was that we had gotten so close.
The retirement community she lived in was about 4 hours away. When I got the word she was dying I spent a lot of time visiting her. The first month she was very depressed and distant. She either slept or stared at the wall, her face a mask of misery. She’d insisted on being catheterized so she wouldn’t ever have to get out of that bed again and then settled down to the business of dying. One day during that month I was sitting in a chair next to her bed. We hadn't spoken in hours. The sun had gone down and her room had become almost totally dark. To rest my backI shifted in my chair, putting my elbows on the edge of her bed. She reached her hand to my face and stroked it very gently. It was a wonderful thing. During another visit acouple of weeks later Mom experienced her first of 6 little deaths that came before the final death. Dad had taken the opportunity of me being there to get some errands done. During a game of Rummy, where she was cheating like crazy, Mom had to go to the bathroom and so I helped her up out of bed and "spotted" her as she made her slow way using her walker to the toilet. When we got into the tiny bathroom, she let out a long breath of air and collapsed. I caught her and gently lowered her to the floor, on her back. She was breathing in the agonal way of the dying that I’ve heard of and was not
conscious, staring out of blank eyes. I was paralyzed. She eventually let a final long breath out and didn't take another one in. I watched her face turn blue and her lips turn purple. I then looked at the pulse on her neck, which was very easy to see, so skinny she was. As I watched it stopped. She was completely still. I held her there for a moment, frozen. I asked her out loud if she was dead. Of course she didn't answer. I looked at her, thinking to myself how honored I was that she had chosen me to die with, along with oh no, oh no, ho no! I let her all the way down on the floor and told her I had to make a phone call and would be right back. I noticed that her bladder had relaxed and let go under her. I went to the phone and called the main desk. Then I went into the bathroom and looked down at her. She looked small and forlorn so I sat on the floor behind her head and hauled her into a half-sitting position and held her in my arms for a few minutes, wondering how long it would take for anyone to get there.. All of a sudden her body jerked! Scared me half to death! I thought, oh it's just her nervous system settling out. A couple more minutes or so another big body jerk! Then the agonal breathing started up! I couldn't believe it! She was alive! I struggled to catch up to the present reality. She was very much alive, breathing like a locomotive and flailing her arms and hands all over the place, smashing her arms against the sink and wall. She was crying and wailing, and I was trying to quiet her. She finally "came back"
behind her eyes and saw that she was on the floor, her walker in front of her. She reached her arms out to it, saying over and over, “Get me up! Get me up! I have to get up!” I told her, “I can't get you up alone, Mom. People are on their way. Just stay right here with me until they get here, then we'll get you up." She finally gave in and collapsed against me, breathing hard from this big effort. Right then the doorbell rang and I heard voices calling me from down the hall. The resident nurse and the woman from the front desk came into the bathroom doorway, fully expecting to find Mom dead, but there we were on the bathroom floor, two very alive people, one holding the other. We got Mom up and onto the toilet, cleaned up, and back into bed. 10 minutes later everyone was gone and Mom was beating me in a game of Rummy, cheating like crazy!
The hospice nurse was sent for and was there by the time Dad got home from shopping. She was wonderful, wearing many hats. She was a friend, gave information, counseled Mom, Dad, and me in a sensitive way, called Mom's doctor to let him know what had happened. She was there for about 2 hours. When she left, Dad went into the kitchen
to make Mom lunch and I sat on the edge of her bed. I must have had quite a look on my face because Mom said to me in her "practical " tone of voice, "Now dear, when I'm REALLY dying, not one of these dress rehearsals I seem to be having, but when I'm really dying, I want you to know that while I am I'll be kissing you all over!" Then she
fluttered her hands around my head, and looking into my eyes, and with love pouring out of her’s, she said, "Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!" I’d never seen her so happy or full of peace.
The next day I had to leave. Boy, I sure didn't want to. Just before I was about to leave the phone rang and I answered it. It was Sister Pat, a nun who works with the hospice organization that was caring for Mom. She told me that Donna, the hospice nurse, had told her what had happened with Mom and did anyone want her to come over for a visit? Knowing both my parents shun any kind of open talk of spirituality or God, I said no, but could she and I chat on the phone? She told me of course. She asked how Mom was doing and I told her how in the last 24 hours Mom had made a total 180 turn in her outlook on life; that before these 2 little deaths she had been utterly and inconsolably miserable and now seemed completely happy and contented. It was like night and day. There was a long pause. Then Sister Pat said, "Your mother is a very fortunate woman." I said, "Huh?", thinking fortunate? She's dying! Sister Pat then went on to tell me that in the 20 odd years that she has been working with dying people and their families, that without exception, the
people who had near death experiences such as Mom, were very happy and peaceful for the rest of the time they had left. She said when a person has a "little death" it seems as if they get to go to the other side and have a little look-see and realize there's nothing to be afraid of. A great weight seems to be lifted.
Mom and I had 6 more months after that. She had four more “little deaths” and was proud of them all. One time I called down there, and when she got on the phone she said, “Guess what I did today?” I smiled and said, “What, Mom?” “I DIED again!” We never talked about much- just the weather and things like that. But it didn't matter anymore. We lived in a little blue egg of light and the love poured unrestricted back and forth inside that little egg. I finally got the Mom I'd been waiting for.
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Rainy
Member Posts: 2
From: Fresno, CA
Registered: Sep 2000
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posted 09-13-2000 03:24 AM
As a Caregiver, I am thrilled that this program has been aired. I would like to thank each and every one of the families that let us be a part of their personal processes and the eventual losses. I would also like to thank the doctors that were interviewed for their sincerity and candor. We as families and as a society needed this eye opener. Every contributor to this program I hale you and thank you for giving us all hope to carry on and to also know to validate everyone involved in the process of a loved one dying. |
Marx4
New Member Posts: 1
From: Whiteplains,NY,USA
Registered: Sep 2000
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posted 09-13-2000 03:39 AM
quote:
Originally posted by rikwh:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by elizowen:
[B]The premiere of ON OUR OWN TERMS examines the ways patients and caregivers are trying to overcome American culture's denial of death.
As you watched the program, what was your reaction? I was very moved by the program. After having lost both of my parents, I wish I had known of all of the available resources I could have used. I will watch the remaining programs with interest. The doctor's with is an inspiration. I only with I had her courage.I to went through a similiar experience when my grandmother passed on 3 years ago, when she was in the hospital we all new she was dying but didn't have the courage to discuss it openly. I know that at the end due to this attitude towards death she felt scared and alone. I will regret not having offered her comfort forever.
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maurice blaug
Member Posts: 5
From: CA
Registered: Sep 2000
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posted 09-13-2000 05:12 AM
I found that the program addressed my anxieties about dying and gave me information that I think will make a very large difference in how I face my end. I was particularly impressed by the example given by the pediatrician;he was thoughtful and willing to take risks. I am so grateful that the program helped to have my first real cry since being diagnosed with early stage metastatic prostate cancer.
I am amazed at the high quality of the resource materials offered in conjunction with the series. My only reservation is that it is hard to watch just before bedtime, fournights in a row. |
maurice blaug
Member Posts: 5
From: CA
Registered: Sep 2000
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posted 09-13-2000 05:13 AM
I found that the program addressed my anxieties about dying and gave me information that I think will make a very large difference in how I face my end. I was particularly impressed by the example given by the pediatrician;he was thoughtful and willing to take risks. I am so grateful that the program helped to have my first real cry since being diagnosed with early stage metastatic prostate cancer.
I am amazed at the high quality of the resource materials offered in conjunction with the series. My only reservation is that it is hard to watch just before bedtime, fournights in a row. |
Carol Foulkes
New Member Posts: 1
From: Memphis, TN, USA
Registered: Sep 2000
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posted 09-13-2000 12:54 PM
I have read many of the replies regarding this series, all by wonderful people either involved in care giving, or some who have had loved ones pass on. Unfortunately, I was only able to catch one of the episodes, but was mesmerized by it. You see, I'm not a care giver; I'm not a medical professional; I'm dying. Before you say "oh, poor thing", I've got a lot more time left. I have a rare form of cancer that is very, very slow acting, so I'm not planning on hopping out of this world right yet. It is terminal; untreatable; and incurable. However, I wanted to offer a little input from the "patients point of view".
The one truism that really impacted me was the inability of the patient (as well as the family) to ask the all important question: how am I going to die? Not even "when" is as important as "how".
On the one hand, the patient wants to know. But actually asking the question? I tried. I'd vaguely ask a question of the doctor, hoping he'd open up the issue, but he ignored me (or missed my implication). I got bolder with the question, but the doctor "skirted" around the answer, giving me vague answers. It was obvious HE was uncomfortable with the conversation. This is sad. Doctors aren't willing to address these kinds of issues, but will go the limit on anything medically pertaining to "cure". Does this make them bad? Of course not! But who else can a patient ask? Your doctor is the one person you should really feel you can talk to.
Watching the family "round table" as these questions were answered on the program (I was able to watch) made me realize how uncomfortable families are in learning these answers. However, it's a necessary evil. One they must know if they are going to understand and react properly when that "time" comes. I've printed off sheets and sheets of instructions that I was able to find to give my care giver so there will be no questions. My hat's off to those who have dedicated their time and energy to palliative care and information. We, the patients, so desparately need you. Keep it up. Get the "word" out on the information highway. I know your program (On Our Own...) enlightened many, many people. Thanks.
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Stamm44
Moderator Posts: 63
From: Louisville, KY, USA
Registered: Mar 2000
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posted 09-13-2000 01:59 PM
The following message was sent directly to PBS by "Carol" and is reposted with her permission:> The Sunday program on "Living with Death" just ended here in Hawaii.
> Thank you for the courage to cover a topic that seems so neglected in our
> society. I have a group of survivors that have a unique perspective on
> death and grief.
>
> Earlier this afternoon, I attended a support group with my 17-year old
> daughter, my 77-year old mother, three other donor moms and a facilitator.
> It was a support group that I helped form in January 1999 for organ and
> tissue donor family members. All of us have lost loved ones who became an
> organ or tissue donors upon their death.
>
> Our family lost Amy at age 10 in 1997. She became a corneal and heart
> valve donor. Amy was severely-brain damaged after viral encephalitis at 3
> months of age, so while we physically lost her in 1997, we really lost our
> dreams and expectations in 1987. We lost my father in 1996 to
> complications of prostate cancer and my sister in 1992 to suicide.
>
> Beth lost her 10-year old daughter in 1998 when Alyssa was hit by a truck,
> after getting off a bus a few blocks from their home. Alyssa became a
> heart valve donor.
>
> Wendy lost 16-year old Lokelani in 1998 when Loke's boyfriend fell asleep
> at the wheel of his car. Lokelani became an organ donor.
>
> Yaeko lost her 49-year old son in 1999 due to complications of a heart
> condition. Raymond became an organ donor.
>
> Yaeko is a particularly interesting, little Japanese grandmother who is
> also dealing with a number of deaths. She lost a young son (a number of
> years ago) seven years after a high fever rendered him brain-damaged. Her
> third son has received two kidney transplants (so she is both a donor mom
> and a recipient mom).
>
> You can see that we are dealing with many different kinds of death and
> many different forms of grief. And while your coverage of death is
> desperately needed, you also need to considering covering grief and the
> challenges to the survivors.
>
> What has been most hurtful for us as donor family members, is the attitude
> of our local organ procurement organization (OPO). The donor families
> made the decision with sincerest altruistic intent. The transplants have
> been received with overwhelming gratitude. But, in actively promoting
> donation, we have come close enough to see and dismayed to learn, the
> conduit in-between has a surgical perspective where donors are viewed as
> parts with the philosophy that donor families should just "move on with
> their lives" post-donation.
>
> This is the first generation that has had to deal with the prospect of
> parts of a loved one living on somewhere in the nation. I truly believe
> this adds a new dimension to the already difficult task of grieving an
> untimely death. We could live with the fact that the OPO doesn't want to
> get involved with support groups, networking, etc. But, more
> destructively, it has discouraged, not empowered, the survivors. Indeed,
> it has actively discredited programs that we have tried to create (like
> the support group and a donor memorial quilt) and been unwilling to give
> options to the donor families to decide for themselves.
>
> Do you see, as an future topic of "Living with Dying",
> finding/rediscovering life after death by the survivors?
>
> There are also a number of legal (informed consent, access to records,
> responsibility and avenues of recourse, etc.) issues with organ and tissue
> donation that recently been exposed and would be fascinating to explore.
>
> Thank you for your patience and interest in this topic.
> |
Stamm44
Moderator Posts: 63
From: Louisville, KY, USA
Registered: Mar 2000
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posted 09-13-2000 02:08 PM
The following message was sent directly to PBS by 'Jo-Ellen' and is reposted with her permission:>
> When thinking over the first segment (the pediatrician and his wife) I
> wondered - what about all the other family members? His siblings? His
> parents, if living? Aunts, Uncles, Cousins? The two daughters were shown
>
> only in a very limited way. It was as if this man's life had only
> encompassed the last five years or so of his life, beginning with his new
> marriage. |
Stamm44
Moderator Posts: 63
From: Louisville, KY, USA
Registered: Mar 2000
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posted 09-13-2000 03:04 PM
The following message was sent directly to PBS by 'Joan' and is reposted with her permission:
> >
> > My husband who has terminal prostrate cancer and I watched the first
> > broadcast of Bill Moyers and were deeply moved by this program. My
husband
> > has been sick for three years now and we have been under Hospice care
for
> > the last two months. The care they have given him has allowed him to be
> > the decision maker in his care and instead of wishing that he would
die,
> > we both live each day to the fullest. Hospice has given him back his
> > dignity and his enjoyment of life. This program has also allowed us to
> > more openly discuss our own feelings about his impending death. His
> > illness has really made us understand what our marriage vows were all
> > about and what true love is. I have taken a leave from my teaching job
to
> > stay home and help to care for him with the assistance of Hospice.
Thank
> > you for bringing a very difficult subject for people to think and talk
> > about out in the open and for making people feel that they truly have a
> > right to the care and decision making about their own life and body. I
am
> > so thankful to have the opportunity to take care of and be there for
the
> > man who has always been there for me for the past 35 years.
> >>
>
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Stamm44
Moderator Posts: 63
From: Louisville, KY, USA
Registered: Mar 2000
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posted 09-13-2000 03:07 PM
The following message was sent directly to PBS by 'Suzanne' and is reposted with her permission:> As one who assists caregivers in understanding the health beliefs and
> practices of the increasing numbers of patients from other cultures, I was
>
> disappointed in the totally White Caucasian focus of the program. The few
> Blacks who were represented were not looked at from the standpoint of
> differing beliefs they might have about death and dying. I would like to
> see
> such issues as, dealing with culturally determined ways of expressing
> pain,
> culturally different attitudes regarding discolosure to the patient of
> impending dealth, cultural beliefs and taboos against discussing impending
>
> dealth, attitudes toward end of life decisions, etc. We are no longer (and
>
> have never been) a single cultured society and attitudes toward death and
> dying are not only individually, but also culturally determined.
> I would also like to mention that I was the last caller taken and the
> program
> ended with my comments. I was left, literally hanging on. No one ended the
>
> call or explained how I could get my views aired |
Stamm44
Moderator Posts: 63
From: Louisville, KY, USA
Registered: Mar 2000
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posted 09-13-2000 03:13 PM
The following was sent directly to PBS by "TweetyJake" and is reposted with permission:> AT THIS TIME, ALL I WANT TO SAY IS THANK YOU! I LOST MY YOUNGEST SON DUE
> TO
> LEUKEMIA TWO YEARS AGO, AND HAVE HAD THE MIXED FEELINGS OF THE DECISIONS I
> HAD
> TO MAKE. THIS SHOW HAS SHOWN ME THAT I DID THE RIGHT THING AT THE RIGHT
> TIME. ALSO, THAT OTHER PEOPLE HAVE HAD TO MAKE THE SAME TOUGH CHOICES. MY
>
> SON WAS ONLY 26 AT THE TIME, WITH HIS LIFE AHEAD OF HIM. MISS HIM, BUT
> REALIZE THAT HE WANTED ONLY QUALITY OF LIFE AND NOT QUANTITY. AGAIN THANK
>
> YOU, AND THIS PROGRAM SHOULD BE AIRED ON ALL MAJOR NET WORKS.
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Stamm44
Moderator Posts: 63
From: Louisville, KY, USA
Registered: Mar 2000
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posted 09-13-2000 03:17 PM
The following message was sent directly to PBS by 'Sarah' and is being reposted with her permission:> > I watched the Moyer program tonight and the follow-up question and
answer
> > forum. It was asked why family members are reluctant to bring up the
> > subject of death. I know that in my case as my sister was courageously
> > fighting cancer (I was her bone marrow donor) and going through the
"hell
> > of healing," I was "afraid" to think "negatively" that this might mean
> > that I was giving up on hope. Nurses, doctors, everyone attending to my
> > sister fought bravely, tried everything possible...but when it was
> > apparent "that my almost twin and shadow" would suffer no longer, the
> > nurses helped Pat go in peace. They kept reassuring her that it was
"all
> > right."
> >
> > On the other hand, Hospice came in during the last stages of my mother's
> > illness. She had been in a nursing home for nearly ten years. Hospice
> > helped us and Mother complete her journey with ease and dignity.
> >
> > Thank you for these programs,
> >>
>
> |
Stamm44
Moderator Posts: 63
From: Louisville, KY, USA
Registered: Mar 2000
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posted 09-13-2000 03:18 PM
The following message was sent directly to PBS by 'Kathy' and is being reposted with her permession:> >
> > Thank you Mr. Moyers and a huge thank you to Dr. Sean Morrison. My
mother
> > died two years ago this month. Thank you for explaining the breathing
> > patterns towards the end. You have given me such a peace. I was
> > privileged to be able to take care of my mother. I now know through
your
> > explanation of all the things that happened that I did the best job for
> > her that I could. Hospice was a big help, but they can't be there all
the
> > time. Bless you all!!
> >
> >>
>
> |
Stamm44
Moderator Posts: 63
From: Louisville, KY, USA
Registered: Mar 2000
|
posted 09-13-2000 03:42 PM
The following message was sent directly to PBS by 'Harriette' and is reposted with her permission.> > I just want to thank you for airing this show. My Dad made his
> > transition five years ago in December. He was at home. He had made a
> > decision to not stay here. He had had open heart surgery that was, as
> > the doctors said, 'successful' but the rest of his body didn't think
> > so. Over a period of time of trying to convelesce, he realized that he
> > was not rallying in or to good health. So, at some point, he decided
> > that he was not staying here. The important thing is my Mother asked
> > him if he wanted to stay and he said 'no'... that was when the real
> > transition started. She told him he could go...she would be all
> > right... talk to Jesus and ask him to help he go. After their
> > conversation it took a few days or so and we all, my whole family, were
> > a part of this extraordinary experience. I will never forget it. It is
> > important to and in my life. I believe everyone, if they can, should go
> > at home or at least with family members or friends around. It assists
> > them in their journey 'home'. I know that my Father's transition was
> > very mystical indeed. It would take a book to explain all of the
> > happenings around this very important event. Everyone should be able to
> > experience something such as this magnificent journey home.
> >
> > Again, I thank you for this series and I will watch the other shows in
> > this series.
> >
> > An interested and supportive viewer
>
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sla
New Member Posts: 1
From: lincoln,ne,usa
Registered: Sep 2000
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posted 09-13-2000 09:52 PM
The series was wonderful. The people on all 4 shows were saying the things I have felt but didn't have the words to say. It's impossible to describe to others what it is like to be a caretaker of someone who is dying. They only see the sadness and wonder how you can do it, they can't see how blessed you are to be able to be the caretaker. The home health/hospice support our family received was great. The oncologist needed improvement. I think most oncologists would benefit by watching this program. Thank you Reverend Moyers! |
jimmie marshall
Member Posts: 4
From: Malabar,Fl,USA
Registered: Sep 2000
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posted 09-13-2000 10:43 PM
quote:
Originally posted by jennifertut:
As a Hospice RN I waited for this program with excitement and a bit of anticipatory doubt. "Will they get it right, or will it be just dramatic television?" As I watched I caught myself nodding in agreement with what was said and shown. Death is truly a labor....just as birth is. The seperation of a soul from a body. It is WORK...physical, emotional, spiritual and mental WORK. This series, so far, is doing a wonderful job of showing many of the facsites in dealing with this journey...for not only the terminal person himself but the caregivers and the medical community as well.
I look forward to the rest of this series with great excitement now..without any doubts. From a nurse dealing with death and dying every day...I thank you for helping to bring this to "prime time".
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jimmie marshall
Member Posts: 4
From: Malabar,Fl,USA
Registered: Sep 2000
|
posted 09-13-2000 10:45 PM
quote:
Originally posted by jennifertut:
As a Hospice RN I waited for this program with excitement and a bit of anticipatory doubt. "Will they get it right, or will it be just dramatic television?" As I watched I caught myself nodding in agreement with what was said and shown. Death is truly a labor....just as birth is. The seperation of a soul from a body. It is WORK...physical, emotional, spiritual and mental WORK. This series, so far, is doing a wonderful job of showing many of the facsites in dealing with this journey...for not only the terminal person himself but the caregivers and the medical community as well.
I look forward to the rest of this series with great excitement now..without any doubts. From a nurse dealing with death and dying every day...I thank you for helping to bring this to "prime time".
You are to be commended for the wonderful job that hospice provides for patients and families alike. |
jimmie marshall
Member Posts: 4
From: Malabar,Fl,USA
Registered: Sep 2000
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posted 09-13-2000 10:52 PM
Our mother went on her journey home under the care of Health First Hospice on April 15, 1998.We were so taken with hospice and the work that it does that our family established a quarterly and yearly "Earth Angel" award in honor of our mother (Ruth D.Sikes Marshall) to recognize and honor a hospice employee who has gone over and above the expected, as recognized by families who have used their services. Hospice is truly their for the entire family and sees to the needes physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Our mother was ready to go on this journey and she let all her children (4), siblings, grandchildren (11), great-grandchildren (28), and great-great grandchildren (3) know that death was not to be feared but to be looked at as starting a new life on the other side. This made it easier for all of us to accept and we spent a joyous time on the last leg of Mama's journey on earth as we celebrated love and life with each other during the final months.
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RITony
Member Posts: 2
From:
Registered: Sep 2000
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posted 09-13-2000 10:59 PM
I happened upon this program by accident and the overwhelming sense of agony it brought back is beyond words. My wife passed away at an inpaitent hospice center here in Rhode Island after a two year battle with NHL. It was two days after her 37th birthday. Two bone marrow transplants in Boston, countless radiation and drug therapies, etc... Absolutely kicking and screaming the whole way... I think our last two weeks in the hospice center were the best we had in those two years. Although my 6 and 8 year old kids barely remember their mom after only 3 and 1/2 months, even they remember the really nice people at that last hospital where mom stayed. My deepest admiration go out to the "angels on earth" who somehow have the ability to work in our local hospice program and those around the country. I know that my family was blessed with our hospice experience. I can only hope that television programs such as this can help raise public awareness of just how important hospice can be. Thanks for the powerful program.We miss you betsy .... |
ccaptainkarin
Member Posts: 3
From: oceanside,n.y.
Registered: Sep 2000
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posted 09-13-2000 11:16 PM
I've just finished watching your last program I agree with all the people before me Mr. Moyer out did himself. It is more than just time the american public is brought to lite about death in our history we are going to be the oldest geneeration know and our problems we be twice complated as the generation before us. We cann't all run away from the topic of death and dieing. We all have a responsabe to ourselfes, our families and our fellow beings. I've lost three people in my family and a number of friends in these short years. I believe with each loss I wished I knew more about there needs and how to help my children and myself. These past few days have given me more insight than living through and careing for the people I love and watching them die. I thank you and I will make it my personal goal to try to become a voice and a part of the awakening of America. |
Stamm44
Moderator Posts: 63
From: Louisville, KY, USA
Registered: Mar 2000
|
posted 09-14-2000 12:02 AM
The following message was sent directly to PBS by 'Jan' and is reposted with her permission:> >I have watched the show tonight on the issues of taking control of our
> > lives
> > when we are ill. I have taken care of my father, who passed away on
> > fathers
> > day of colon/liver cancer. I am still trying to cope with the loss, and
at
> > the same
> > time have now placed my mother on hospice care because of lung cancer.
> > I will eventually have to deal with her death as well, I don't think it
> > will be long.
> >
> > Anyways, I could relate to the people on the show...and hopefully I can
> > keep
> > control of my emotions long enough to see the others....
> > |
Stamm44
Moderator Posts: 63
From: Louisville, KY, USA
Registered: Mar 2000
|
posted 09-14-2000 12:06 AM
The following message was sent directly to PBS by 'MJohn' and is being reposted with permission:>>> "Living with Dying" was interesting as far as someone who knows they are
> about to die. I just don't understand why you picked some people that
> should
> have been dead long before the series started. Beau, for instance, was a
> derelict given a little too much sympathy. The other was a doctor, who
> couldn't stand the very structure that he prescribed to his own patients
> to
> endure, but apparently had enough money to avoid.
>
> If PBS needs money, why can't they explore situations and offer
> suggestions
> to the individuals and their families that really suffered by enduring a
> totally unexpected death in their family . I, for one, am upset by the
> fact
> that you're trying to exploit terminally ill people -- who know they're
> dying
> -- and yet they tell all regarding themselves for the sake of a televison
> program; while, at the same time, you have the nerve to suggest that "our
> culture" wants to put these dying people at a distance >> |
Stamm44
Moderator Posts: 63
From: Louisville, KY, USA
Registered: Mar 2000
|
posted 09-14-2000 12:09 AM
The following message was sent directly to PBS by 'Nate' and is reposted with his permission: A new topic after this might be on tears--joy sadness-emotions--all about
> the
> physical and then spiritual aspect of tears.
>
> With older people, like my mother in law who has Alzheimers , now 85
> years,
> I am happy to look at her with eyes of her whole life, what i have seen or
>
> read when she was young, the 37 years I have known her, and our bond now
> when
> she seems almost dead. I have over the last 20 years thought of
> individual
> dealths as such an historic point!!They , their lives become History. No
> changing anything as one constantly trys to do during life.
>
> As a Christian for 58 years, i stop short about life after death. There
> are
> no facts. It scares me so much that we go through this belief period
> about
> life after, but life after may be just absolute void. Gone, like my two
> cocker spaniels that have died, gone or the plants that every year die and
>
> are gone.
>
> Finally, then I cry when I find myself empathetic to those losing someone,
> I
> feel best listening to Mahler's Resurrection Sylmphony and reading
> passages
> in the Bible like where Jesus said...Know God through me; in my house are
> many rooms..alluding to the fact that there is life after death.
> >> |
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