posted 09-15-2000 12:16 AM         

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Originally posted by ForFrancine:
My experiences with life threatening illness unfortunately have taken away my sense of hope and ultimate meaning. Before I got sick I was a deeply spiritual person. I believed that there was a purpose to my life and to every life. But I have suffered so severely, at the hands of calloused doctors, that I no longer have hope and I cannot find meaning in my existence or in my suffering. I want to have that meaning back in my life again but nothing I do seems to help me. How can pain so severe that it makes a person scream and writhe in unrelieved agony while doctors and nurses stand by and do nothing have any meaning? My illness didn't take away my sense of spirituality; the people who were supposed to care for me did. My only hope left is that I get to die a peaceful death. For me that means not dying in a hospital.

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posted 09-15-2000 12:34 AM         

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Originally posted by Stamm44:
How important at the end-of-life is belief in a deity? Can religious practices help or hinder a dying person's attempt to come to terms with his or her life? What are the best ways to sooth the soul and comfort the body?

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posted 10-15-2000 12:50 AM         

All unbidden, these recently-dead chose Carolyn as their channel for something more that they wanted to say to the living.

These after-death messages are hopeful and encouraging. In some cases, Carolyn was able to convey the messages to relatives, who attested to their authenticity of voice and credibility and were greatly comforted by them.

Others have found them reassuring as they contemplate their own death.

Carolyn has collected the messages in her book "Spirit-Walking".

posted 10-16-2000 11:13 PM         

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Originally posted by Dorothy P. Harris:
...Not one friend or acquaintance has "abandoned" me when they learned I have terminal cancer. This surprised me a little when I read from so many others that they have felt abandoned. Anyone on this board with ideas about why this happens to some and not to others?...

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Dorothy, I don't think anyone really knows the answer to that question. Nobody we know has abandoned us during my spouse's battle with advanced lung cancer. Perhaps when it does happen, it's from fear of having to face one's own mortality.

Or perhaps some long-ago incident as a child was involved. I recall growing up with elderly relatives (my mother was the youngest in her Irish-American family, i was born when she was 43 years old) and going to a funeral home to visit was the most natural thing in the world for us - and there was always food and drink in the back room of the funeral home and it was a not unpleasant social occasion, with adults talking about the dear departed.

posted 10-20-2000 01:02 AM         

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Originally posted by JoyceB:
I have been interested in reading everyone's posts. I am in my final year of seminary and taking pastoral counseling this semester. We are discussing death and dying this week. We are struggling with the age old question of how can a loving God allow there to be such suffering and death. I think this an on-going issue with no right answer. Prior to coming to seminary, I was an RN so I have faced these situations many times. It is my plan when I graduate to be a hospital chaplain and I appreciate the opportunity to read about people's experiences and their feelings. Thank you. Also, have aging parents, these programs have personal meaning as well because I am having conversations about end of life decisions with them and because they are people with a strong spiritual life, the discussions need to consider their belief system. All insight about this is greatly appreicated.

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posted 10-20-2000 02:13 PM         

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Originally posted by Stamm44:
How important at the end-of-life is belief in a deity? Can religious practices help or hinder a dying person's attempt to come to terms with his or her life? What are the best ways to sooth the soul and comfort the body?

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Dear Stamm44; I came across some vital information that I feel you might be interested in as part of the Forum. It is way to lengthy to send it in on this Forum dialog. It addresses 1) Dignity of the Dying, from the Pontifical Academy for Life,2)When Food and Water Are Withheld(from a larger work "Euthanasia:Imposed Death",3)Persistant Vegatative State from the same larger work, and 4) Brain Death(also from the same larger work. These articles are obtained from www.petersnet.net/research/retrieve.cfm? If you can't get them let me know your mailing address and I'll mail them to you if you wish.- raphael@dakotacom.net Please note this CORRECTION to above URL. Should read: petersnet.net/highlightrecap.cfm. Look for Highlihts of April 2,1999, Message to Members II,12, Item #1 Final Statement on "Dignity of the Dying". Thank you.

posted 10-21-2000 06:41 PM         

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Originally posted by cooknread:
I am a Roman Catholic Youth Minister. I am also a retired police officer who has attended many deaths; natural, homicide and suicide. I believe that God has nothing to do with suffering and death. Since I believe God is only good, he cannot do evil. He has offered us the gift of free will to do as we chose in this life. I recently watched my beloved father slowly die of brain cancer, chosing to not artificially extend his life, yet not submit to artificial death. My father explained to me that there is value in suffering. It teaches others to value life and see death as a part of life. He waited for his time, in spite of his suffering. I have also watched my mother suffer through my father's illness, death, her own and her family's grief. I have completed advance directives for my family so that I, too, will not sustain my life artifically in the event that I am incapacitated, but I will also not chose to end my life at my own will. I am willing to wait for my time, and if suffering on my part will teach others to bear the pain and grief and disappointment of life, so be it. I also hope that the message of hope in death is not forgotten. I truly learned of hope by being a witness to death.

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Cook, while i do not disagree with you on whether the Almighty wishes suffering on anyone, I think that many people, perhaps everyone, can meet death without the kind of pain and suffering that you describe. These days, there are medications available to alleviate most pain, even the kind of cancer pain that some of us have seen afflict our loved ones. There is no lesson learned from unneeded suffering, other than that some doctors are too ignorant or too barbaric to prescribe sufficiently strong doses of morphine, OxyIR, or other widely available painkillers. I strongly suggest that if an attending physician is sparing in the use of such painkillers, that the patient or his or her family get in touch with the nearest Hospice, or with a hospital that has a pain management unit.

posted 11-14-2000 04:22 PM         

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Originally posted by Stamm44:
How important at the end-of-life is belief in a deity? Can religious practices help or hinder a dying person's attempt to come to terms with his or her life? What are the best ways to sooth the soul and comfort the body?

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posted 06-02-2001 04:17 PM         

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Originally posted by cooknread:
I am a Roman Catholic Youth Minister. I am also a retired police officer who has attended many deaths; natural, homicide and suicide. I believe that God has nothing to do with suffering and death. Since I believe God is only good, he cannot do evil. He has offered us the gift of free will to do as we chose in this life. I recently watched my beloved father slowly die of brain cancer, chosing to not artificially extend his life, yet not submit to artificial death. My father explained to me that there is value in suffering. It teaches others to value life and see death as a part of life. He waited for his time, in spite of his suffering. I have also watched my mother suffer through my father's illness, death, her own and her family's grief. I have completed advance directives for my family so that I, too, will not sustain my life artifically in the event that I am incapacitated, but I will also not chose to end my life at my own will. I am willing to wait for my time, and if suffering on my part will teach others to bear the pain and grief and disappointment of life, so be it. I also hope that the message of hope in death is not forgotten. I truly learned of hope by being a witness to death.

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