NEW YORK VOICES : Getting the Conversation Started : Thirteen / WNET New York

Bridget

At 80-plus, John's mom, Bridget, has been living happily on her own in her Manhattan home. However, John has noticed she's been walking with a little less stability, crossing the street a little less rapidly. He worries about the risks an elderly person living alone must face, and feels he can offer her more. After John's many unsuccessful attempts to relocate her, Bridget is starting to warm up to the idea that living with her family can give her the independence she wants and the safety she needs.

What do older and younger family members really need to talk about? Where can we find help getting through the legal, financial, and interpersonal questions that arise as we get older? When is the best time to start the conversation, and when do we really have to get involved?

Because every caregiving situation presents unique and personal questions, we've included some of the most recognized, broadest organizations. Each one of these Web sites provides extensive information and links to further resources. Many also provide opportunities to use the internet to connect with other caregivers and share their advice and support.

http://www.nyc.gov/html/dfta/home.html
A great starting place for New Yorkers with information on benefits for seniors.

http://www.aarp.org
The Web site for the American Association of Retired People (AARP).

http://www.aarp.org/indexes/health.html#caregiving
AARP's extensive pages about caregiving.

http://www.caps4caregivers.org
Children of Aging Parents is a self-help group with advice and links about dealing with an aging relative.

http://www.caregiver.org
The Family Caregiver Alliance -- specialized information on Alzheimer's disease, stroke, traumatic brain injury, Parkinson's disease, ALS, and other disorders and long-term care concerns.

Upstate / Downstate
Channel Thirteen/WNET and WXXI in Rochester team up to cover the governor's race.

Assisted Living at Home
Margie always knew that her mother, Theresa, who had been ill much of her life, would one day come to live with her. In fact, she and her husband built an extension to their house specifically for the time when Theresa would need more care. Her planning paid off, and thanks to Margie's efforts, Theresa now has a home health care worker 24-hours a day, 7-days a week. The aide has kept Theresa out of the institutions she fears, and close to the family she loves.

Institutional Care
Eleanor made it clear she didn't want to live with her children. She was just fine living at a distance in her long-time home. But when neighbors told her daughter, Marnie, that her mother had been wandering at night, and conversations showed Eleanor's memory was slipping, the question that Marnie and her family had to face was "where will mom be safe?"