We encourage adults to use AGING OUT to engage youth in discussions related to aging out of the foster care system. It will assist youth who will be personally involved in this process, as well as other youth whose friends or family members may be affected. Viewing and discussing AGING OUT will raise awareness about important emancipation issues as well as lead youth to take action.
Find someone who can facilitate a meeting – an individual who can help you plan and shape your agenda as well as have a clear understanding about goals and objectives. A good facilitator knows when to listen and when to interject and summarize; s/he knows how to move a group along. In addition it will be helpful for the facilitator to establish ground rules about what young adults share about themselves in the meeting. Strategic sharing allows a participant to relate the heart of their story without all the details that can make them too vulnerable or exposed.
Who Should Facilitate? -- Because the film raises tough issues, and because young people can find themselves in uniquely vulnerable positions, it is important to have an experienced facilitator who can provide structure and establish some group agreements for responding to the film, outlining areas to be addressed in the meeting and those that require follow up. It will be important to know the resources available for follow up to individuals and/or groups.
Goals -- Be realistic about what you hope to accomplish. If you are looking for major change, you may want to consider convening a series of meetings rather than a single event.
Involving Stakeholders -- It is important to let members of groups speak for themselves. For example, it is important to involve young people in the conversations about youth.
Effective Sharing -- Choose a method of sharing that will meet the needs of your group and help you reach your goal(s). Discussion? Writing? Action? Some combination of these things?
Discussion -- Engaging in conversation is an easy way for many people to share with one another. It is especially useful as a starting point for deeper reflection or action.
Writing -- Writing provides more time to reflect than does discussion. Because it is done individually and allows for editing, it can also provide a safe way to explore emotional topics. In this context, writing is not an exercise in grammar. Youth should be free to write what and how they want. Be clear about whether writers will be asked to share what they wrote and with whom. Also be clear about what kinds of feedback writers can expect.
Illustrations -- Have pads, easels, and drawing implements available for youth who want to express themselves through art.
Action -- Discussion can be a stepping-stone to taking action in the real world. Taking action provides hope and helps people know that they can do something to make change.
As you choose, take into account the language levels and abilities of group members. For example, discussion can be difficult if all group members are not comfortable conversing in the same language. Writing might be an intimidating choice for people who have low-level literacy skills. You should also consider the comfort level of the group. Do you already have a close relationship with group members or are you meeting them for the first time? The less pre-existing trust, the less appropriate it is to use particularly intimate or intense methods of sharing.
Support -- The experiences of the youth featured in AGING OUT raise some difficult issues. Seeing their stories can evoke intense emotions in some viewers. Know who your local support agencies and/or professionals are and how to contact them in case referrals are appropriate. Pay close attention to how prepared participants are to tackle certain kinds of issues. Take special care not to push individuals too far. If you are dealing with young people who are not ready to talk about their own situations, try altering questions so that participants can consider them as if they were talking about someone else. Better still, partner with a social service agency that can provide mental health professionals who will be available if the need arises.
Be Prepared to Facilitate -- Check the background information and resources so you have enough factual knowledge to keep people on track. Most importantly, review the film and other materials prior to your event and deal with your own emotions before you walk through the door. You will be much more effective if you are not trying to sort through your own emotions at the same time that you are trying to guide others in dealing with their emotions.
Preparing the Group
For youth to share openly and honestly, they need to feel comfortable and safe. This is especially true because of the potential for a strong emotional response to the terrible news of Risa Bejarano’s death. People often form an emotional bond with characters in a film and we need to be prepared that news of Risa’s death will be difficult for some youth and adults to accept. We are recommending that facilitators and other discussion leaders notify your groups of Risa’s passing prior to watching the film. This will allow the facilitator to forecast what participants might feel and set a context for responding.
As a facilitator, you can help set a safe and comfortable atmosphere by doing the following:
Do introductions. If group members do not already know one another, take some time for everyone to introduce himself or herself.
Set ground rules for discussion. Involve the group in setting some basic rules that will help them feel safe. Those ground rules will generally cover these areas:
- Confidentiality -- Do people want to ask others not to repeat what they have said outside the group?
- Language -- To ensure respect, everyone should agree that certain kinds of language, e.g., put downs or yelling, are off limits. Also, to ensure clarity, ask people to speak in the first person ("I think...") rather than generalizing ("Everyone knows that...").
- Taking Turns -- Use techniques to make sure that everyone who wishes to speak can do so, that one person does not dominate, that no one is attacked, that no one is forced to reveal things they do not want to talk about. Be sure to be clear about what your role is.
- If a mixed group of adults and youth, you may want to add a ground rule that all voices are important to reduce any intimidation and equalize sharing from all participants.
Remind people of the value of listening. You may want to ask people to practice formal "active listening," in which participants listen without interrupting the speaker, then re-phrase to see if they have heard correctly. Or you may just want to remind them that engaging in conversation is different from participating in a debate. In a debate, participants try to convince others that they are right. In a conversation or dialogue, participants try to understand each other and expand their thinking by sharing viewpoints and listening to one another actively.
Remind participants that everyone sees through the lens of his/her own experience. Because who we are influences how we interpret what we see, everyone in the group may have a different view about the content and meaning of the film, and all of them may be accurate. If disagreements occur, ask people to be clear about the evidence they are using to reach their conclusions.
Establish a time-out mechanism. Have a pre-planned strategy for what to do if the intensity level rises. A key word or a non-verbal cue (like putting a hand over your heart to signal that you really empathize with what was just said) can help a lot. Agree on a signal that anyone can use to pause the discussion. Let everyone take a deep breath before moving on to deal with the situation.
- What new thing(s) did you learn from this film? How do you think the new insight might change you?
- Did anything in the film surprise you? If so, what? Why was it surprising?
- Which things in the film were most like your own experience? Which things in the film were most different from your own experience?
- If you could ask the youth in the film a question, what would you ask and why?
- Before viewing the film, talk about your perceptions of what happens to kids who are aging out of the foster care system. Where do your ideas come from? What kinds of images/stories do media usually present? Do you think this information is accurate?
After viewing the film, talk about whether or not any of your ideas about kids in foster care or about aging out of the system have changed. What challenged you to reconsider?
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